Johnny Smoke's - South of Sideways

I don't know what the...

2011-12-18T15:45:00.000-06:00

fuck they put in these jalapeno kettle fried potato chips but it's addictive and it makes my scalp itch... at the same time.

The shortest horror story ever.

2011-09-11T16:23:00.000-05:00

The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door. — Fredric Brown.

T-Bone Burnett

2011-08-31T17:35:00.017-05:00

Album: The True False Identity
Track: Zombieland
Year: 2006
Click to hear music file

Wake up - Rage Against The Machine

2010-10-12T21:37:00.001-05:00

Anger is a Gift - Malcom X

BBC News - Panama 'serial killer' case: more bodies recovered

2010-08-05T09:49:00.002-05:00

Panamanian authorities say they have recovered three more bodies on the property of a US man accused of murdering fellow American expatriates.

'Brett Favre Once Sent Me Cock Shots': Not A Love Story

2010-08-04T23:58:00.002-05:00

Simple Mis-Understanding

2010-08-04T23:45:00.004-05:00

I always thought Clabber Girl was Clobber Girl... and this can't end well.

UNREMITTING FAILURE: Warm Coke Macht Frei

2009-12-03T13:27:00.003-06:00

UNREMITTING FAILURE: Warm Coke Macht Frei

The Decade's 50 Most Important Recordings: NPR

2009-12-03T09:51:00.020-06:00

The Decade's 50 Most Important Recordings: NPR

The Decade's Timeline
~

Some of the albums that didn't make the list

I've seen that face before...

2009-12-03T00:24:00.009-06:00

I've seen that face before...

Skank of America

2009-12-02T23:59:00.007-06:00

Today I read that BOA is giving back $45 billion (with a B) of it's TARP funds. While that's good for us as a collective it means nothing to me as an individual. BOA has basically been given a free pass to skate on my future income for the last 11 months while I've had to "reinvent" myself.

My first thought was... There goes my leverage.

You see... BOA holds title to my house... and my home equity loan, my checking account, my credit cards and last but not least my left nut.

My Facebook Experiment is Over

2009-12-02T23:57:00.000-06:00

For now anyway.

Jai guru deva om

2009-12-02T23:11:00.006-06:00

Words are flying out like
endless rain into a paper cup
They slither while they pass
They slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow waves of joy
are drifting thorough my open mind
Possessing and caressing me
Jai guru deva om

Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

Images of broken light which
dance before me like a million eyes
That call me on and on across the universe
Thoughts meander like a
restless wind inside a letter box
they tumble blindly as
they make their way across the universe

Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world x2

Jai guru deva
Jai guru deva
Jai guru deva om

John Haynes Holmes

2009-12-02T23:00:00.003-06:00

"Society is always engaged in a vast conspiracy to preserve itself -- at the expense of the new demands of each new generation."
-- John Haynes Holmes (1879-1964) prominent Unitarian minister and pacifist

2009-11-17T01:42:00.003-06:00

Peter Tosh - Igziabeher (Let Jah Be Praised)

2009-11-17T01:38:00.004-06:00

2009-11-17T01:34:00.004-06:00

2009-11-17T01:20:00.002-06:00

2009-11-17T01:18:00.003-06:00

Impromptu

2009-11-17T01:16:00.001-06:00

Occasionally indoor plumbing is overrated - on several levels.

Happy Anniversary Sesame Street

2009-11-16T09:04:00.003-06:00

A tribute to Sesame Street.

The Chinese are Sweating

2009-11-14T23:16:00.003-06:00

Dante Never Would Have Made It Through Hell

2009-11-02T12:39:00.006-06:00

The United Friends of Futility

Thanks UF Mike.

When Rubber Bands Go Bad

2009-11-02T12:20:00.008-06:00

For whatever reason I needed a big rubber band recently. Fortunately, I have an adequate stash for just such events. So imagine my disappointment when I found this...

I mean... what's the shelf live of a rubber band for Chrysler's sake? Rassa frassa snicken fricken frakkin gul-dern burnin blammit...

Dirty Pretty Things - Tired of England

2009-09-29T21:39:00.002-05:00

Don't drink yourself to a lonely death
In casinos on crystal meth
Don't drink yourself to a lonely death
In casinos on crystal meth

Fox News Reports Joe Biden's Gaffe - Dailyshow

2009-03-01T14:02:00.001-06:00

Fox News should spell check before reporting on Joe Biden's gaffe....

read more | digg story

G's and On This Day.

2009-02-10T15:07:00.012-06:00

It's been a while since I've played this...

This week’s WWC. G's and On This Day.

Give & Go

On this day... the moon was full. (Last Saturday as a matter of fact.)

Here’s the rules

Which Suit?

2009-02-10T08:57:00.003-06:00

Which suit should I wear today? Brave New World or New World Order?

Bale Out - RevoLucian's Christian Bale Remix!

2009-02-04T10:39:00.003-06:00

The first remix, feat. the inevitable Barba Streisand.

read more | digg story

No comments required. Nice work.

My Daisy Chain

2009-01-12T17:20:00.003-06:00

I'm sure my case of hyperlink A.D.D. is not unique by any stretch of the imagination. I see one shiny page only to have my attention snagged by something shinier and so on and so on. Today I found a couple cools sites that I thought I'd share.

I started with one of my favorites Unremitting Failure and his commentary of childhood or lack there of which took me to Kissyfaces awful experience with a male babysitter (btw Kissyface was one of my nicknames in high school). From there I saw 1001 Rules for My Unborn Son which finally led me to The Impossible Cool.

So much content, so little time. Now if there were only a way to make money at this.

The Daily Show - Deliberative Disorder

2009-01-12T16:36:00.006-06:00

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Crisis in the Senate - Deliberative Disorder

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

I know this is a few days old, but this is classic TDS from 1/6/09.

Maryland or one of those states that should - should be wearing a helmet
Norm Coleman is a big fat liar that eats his own dingleberries
Roland Burris - Ron Johnson's reference on his resume on his mausoleum and God chose him
Caroline Kennedy oratory skills and mice in her vagina

Joe the Plumber to become war correspondent

2009-01-07T18:51:00.002-06:00

Joe the Plumber is taking on a new job. The Ohio man, who became famous during the U.S. presidential campaign after asking Barack Obama about his tax plan, is heading to Israel as a war correspondent for a conservative Web site called pjtv.com...

read more | digg story

We can only hope and pray this numb nut doesn't get killed over there and become the modern right's next martyr. Also, I'm still waiting to hear from someone who can tell me why a butt munch like JTP gives a shit about Israel and the Jews. JTP strikes me as one notch away from a skinhead who'd smite anything that wasn't white, evangelical and had a nut sack. When did rednecks from northern Ohio become so sensitive to the Israeli cause?

Milky Way and Andromeda will collide sooner than expected

2009-01-07T11:57:00.002-06:00

The Milky Way and the Andromeda galaxies are on a collision course and will hit one another earlier than scientists had previously predicted.

read more | digg story

Holy crap! I have less time then I thought!

I am determined...

2009-01-04T21:35:00.002-06:00

I am determined my children shall be brought up in their father's religion, if they can find out what it is.
- Charles Lamb -

Cornyn promises filibuster on Franken seating

2009-01-03T15:03:00.003-06:00

Sen. John Cornyn (R-Texas) threatened Friday to filibuster any attempt to seat Democratic Minnesota Senate candidate Al Franken next week.

read more | digg story

I have never liked Big John "Cornhole" Cornyn and I like him even less. The audacity of this bloated cowfuck from North Texas. On rare occasions I'm embarrassed to admit I live in Texas and this is one of those times. Not that I think Franken necesarrily has the credentials to be a good politician, but it's what the people of MN decided. Butt the fuck out!

Patriots' Season Perfect For Rest Of Nation

2008-12-23T16:56:00.004-06:00

FOXBOROUGH, MA—As the once-invincible, still-insufferable Patriots attempt to come to grips with their 17-14 Super Bowl loss to the Giants, the death of their dream to go undefeated, and the possible end of their dynasty, almost every other person in America is reveling in what they consider the perfect ending to New England's season.

read more | digg story

Holy Fucking Shit I Was Just In A Plane Crash!

2008-12-22T09:59:00.002-06:00

A Continental airlines 737 slid off the runway in Denver last night. The engine on the right side was shorn off and the plane burst into flames. Passengers escaped out the left side on slides. 38 people were hurt. Fortunately no one was killed.

read more | digg story

I fly Continental a lot! I hope I never, ever have to share my crash experience... Holy Jesus!

My dad wants a hores but my mom says no!

2008-12-22T09:39:00.001-06:00

Isn't Christmas time the best...

read more | digg story

Attack of the Drunken, Smoking, Half-Naked Santas

2008-12-16T08:03:00.002-06:00

Hundreds of Santas (most of them naughty, some of them nice) wandered around San Francisco on Saturday, leaving chaos and confused tourists in their wake.

read more | digg story

If this doesn't get you in the mood for Xmas... then nothing will.

Even W. can't keep these two apart

2008-12-08T22:26:00.002-06:00

One of the better songs about hurricanes.

Statistically... 9 out of 10 ducks enjoy gang rape.

2008-12-08T22:11:00.003-06:00

All I want for Xmas is my 32 round magazine

2008-12-08T13:24:00.004-06:00

From the same people that brought us Joe the Plumber and Sarah the Govner. We have a run on firearm sales.

It's enough to make me want to go out and buy a bunch of assault rifles, and ammo, and a bullet proof vest and maybe a taser. Who said Charlton Heston was dead.

I smell another market bubble...

Thanks UF

WSJ.com - Thain Spars With Board Over Bonus At Merrill

2008-12-08T12:33:00.004-06:00

Merrill Lynch Chairman and CEO John Thain has suggested to directors he receive a 2008 bonus of as much as $10 million, according to people familiar with the situation.

read more | digg story

Merrill Lynch Chairman and CEO John Thain

These guys are not going to give up easily. Many feel they're still entitled to these bonuses despite pathetic performance and in this case total collapse of an organization. I hope the BOD of Merrill or BOA push back on this one. As a matter of fact, they should probably fire the loser and stop screwing around with it.

Smoothie Attitude

2008-12-05T07:42:00.002-06:00

This morning noticed my Naked Juice "Well Being" smoothie bottle suggested I "Enjoy by Dec. 03 08".

Or what I thought...

How Obama Got Elected

2008-11-22T00:22:00.004-06:00

On Election day twelve Obama voters were interviewed extensively right after they voted to learn how the news media impacted their knowledge of what occurred during the campaign. The video seeks to provide some insight into which information broke through the news media clutter and which did not.

read more | digg story

This video is a sad commentary on our electorate. Obama won a popularity contest not a presidential race. This is also why wealthy CEOs can get away with robbery. Everyone's too busy, distracted or apathetic to know. Where's the rifle, where's the tower, where's the rifle, where's the tower... another tear in my beer. These poor souls have no idea what Obama is trying to accomplish or what he stands for. We get the government we deserve.

Michelle Bachmann denies saying she wanted the media to investigate Congress

2008-11-20T23:54:00.002-06:00

read more | digg story

This woman is truly a sociopath. She knew what she did was so out of line that she created a political ad begging forgiveness and now she's saying the whole thing was an urban legend. This is up there with Larry Craig, Ray Naggin and William Jefferson and his $900k in frozen cash.

If I were an evil genius I'd mate her and Tom Delay simply to see what sort of social Frankensteins I could unleash on my enemies.

Presidents of the United States of America (POTUSA)

2008-11-18T08:58:00.004-06:00

Top 10 metal musicians who would make the worst President

This had not occurred to me but obviously it did to someone and thank God they came forward. Although I'm not the expert I once was in metal guitarists I would tend to side with the author. Makes me wonder which guitarists would make the best?

This idea is as bad as having roadies prepping and flying your plane which apparently Sprint thinks is cute.

Dude, is all the weed loaded?

The Politics of Population

2008-11-11T10:29:00.007-06:00

I've always thought the Red States (except for Texas) carried far less weight than some of the Blue States... These maps bare this out.

Fascinating Stuff

Obama's Acceptance Speech

2008-11-05T00:32:00.005-06:00

Believe me when I say we have a difficult time ahead of us. But if we are to be prepared for it, we must first shed our fear of it. I stand here, before you now, truthfully unafraid. Why? Because I believe something you do not? No, I stand here without fear because I remember. I remember that I am here not because of the path that lies behind me but because of the path that lies before me.

Tonight, let us shake this cave. Tonight, let us tremble these halls of earth, steel, and stone, let us be heard from red tar to black sky. Tonight, let us make them remember, this is Zion and we are not afraid.

And then there's the "mic'd up" crowd version...

McCain: Joe the Plumber Is ‘An American Hero … My Role Model

2008-10-31T09:15:00.004-05:00

read more | digg story

The Republicrats are on the Hindenburg and it's about to pull into Lakehurst Naval Air Station. Can this bar be set any lower?

JTP an American Hero? A role model? God help us...

Edmund Burke must be spinning in his grave.

CNN's - Culprits of the Collapse

2008-10-24T13:56:00.008-05:00

Last week CNN created a list of the Top Ten Culprits of the current financial crisis and here’s their list.

10. Joe Cassano–former sr. exec. responsible for derivatives that collapsed AIG
9. Richard Fuld–current chairman and CEO of Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc.
8. Chris Cox–current chairman of U.S. Securities & Exchange Comm. (SEC)
7. Phil Gramm–former Republican Senator from TX
6. Alan Greenspan–former chairman of the Federal Reserve of the U.S.
5. Beazer Homes
4. Angelo Mozilo–former chairman and CEO of Countrywide Financial
3. James Cayne-former CEO of Bear Stearns
2. Franklin Raines-former chairman and CEO of Fannie Mae
1. You! The American Public

Wow! You’re on to us CNN

It was us that laid awake at night dreaming of ways we could convince credit card and mortgage companies to spend millions of dollars on ads, marketing and lobbyists so they could assure us their financing schemes were “all the rage”, non-predatory and part of the American Dream. It was us who suddenly grew brains by creating financial instruments such as CDOs and then sold them on the secondary markets as highly rated debt products. It was us who passed legislation to make bankruptcy more difficult and oversight of Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac less transparent. It was us who willingly and sheepishly watched your ads about products to buy and how to attain lifestyles beyond our means. Shame on us!

Now it makes sense to me why we should give the poor old, dumb corporations more of our money. We duped them. They didn’t stand a chance against our sheer will and tenacity.

You better watch out… the next thing we’ll be doing is bankrupting all these precious metal companies and reverse mortgage firms that endlessly advertise on your lil’ ol’ TV station. I’d hate to see us run Robert Wagner out of the good gig he’s got.

P.S. I'm not naive to think we have no culpability in this mess... but #1? That hurts CNN and if that's truly the way you feel I may just have to find another news channel.

Now don't talk to me!

'Race question mark' over US town

2008-10-24T00:16:00.003-05:00

"He tries to put a good show for the people, but I don't think he is American"
- Brandon Harfield

read more | digg story

If only this were Pleasantville.

Listen up Todd Hackley, Brandon Harfield and waitress that's voting for McCain because she can pronounce his name. You get what you deserve and more importantly you deserve what you get. Enjoy the rest of your miserable alcoholic lives, living in your trailer homes next to the toxic landfills your government leaders (pick a party) sell to the highest international bidder. Hopefully your spawn (because we know you breed) will make it to their 18th birthdays so they can carry on your hate-filled, pathetic, victimized legacy.

Obama Is Campaigning on Xbox 360

2008-10-17T13:32:00.002-05:00

“I can confirm that the Obama campaign has paid for in-game advertising in Burnout,” Holly Rockwood, director of corporate communications at Electronic Arts.

read more | digg story

Very smart... kinda scary. Where's he going to pop up next? As an image in my toilet the next time I go piss?

Lorne, Lorne and the Let's Shoot this Show in the Head Players

2008-10-13T14:57:00.004-05:00

"Mark Wahlberg Slams SNL Sketch"

Mark Wahlberg is not a fan of a "Saturday Night Live" sketch from October 4th called "Mark Wahlberg Talks To Animals"

read more | digg story

Not that I'm a big supporter of Marky Mark, but he's right. This show consistently sucks, it's a funny as a "dick in a box" and should have been taken off the air years ago. This skit was for morons.

Its the End of the World... as we blow it.

2008-10-01T21:39:00.004-05:00

This evening I was catching up on "stuff" and Ms. Smoke accused me of looking at pornography. I said, in some sense you might be right.

Ron Paul on Fox Business SCHOOLS Reporters

2008-09-25T13:51:00.002-05:00

After watching two days of hearings on this bailout, Ron Paul is one of the few politicians that "gets" what's going on. I say let the market figure it out because if the govt gets involved we'll be the dumb asses left holding the bag. Bernake and Paulson are purely speculating on the outcome of this exercise and of course CNBC, Bloomberg and Fox Biz are going to support it. It's in their best interest and makes for great drama.

read more | digg story

Guv at First Sight

2008-09-23T10:02:00.003-05:00

Jon falls in love with Sarah Palin.

and...

Sarah's interview with Sean Hannity

Betty Bower's interview with Cougar Palin

2008-09-21T12:17:00.004-05:00

Iraq Ex-inSURGEnts Want More Money, or Else

2008-08-02T22:54:00.002-05:00

With everyone talking about the Iraqi surge, no one is talking about the payola our government is giving the biggest insurgents to fight with us. Now they extorting us for more money or they will start fighting against us. How screwed up is this? Isn't this how Saddam got in power?

read more | digg story

You never know 'til the sharp pencil boys take this thing apart

2008-04-24T01:05:00.007-05:00

Yesterday Sr. Mgmt set off a bomb in the form of "early retirement" and "utilization". For those that didn't make it, you'll be in our daily thoughts.

For the rest of us... be thankful you dodged the bullet and keep moving forward.

Take Five & Pass Wind

2008-04-22T12:46:00.018-05:00

...or Earth, Wind and Five?

I couldn't decide the right tag. After a dash of contemplation and a sprinkle of consternation I scrounged up the strength, some would say focus, to find a pic or two for this week’s WWC. Yes, I’m a day late and a dime short. So what?

Five Fingers

#5 at Minute Maid

5 Continental Tails

5 Hoods (IAH)

5 Lights (Omaha, NE)

3 Flags Over Windy Lawrence

Winds Over Northern Texas

Wind Shelter (Big Wind) (KCI)

Wind A Brewin' Over Houston

Winds Over Northern Texas

Here’s the rules

Oh... and here’s Top Five Wind Pieces in case your curious.

Emo feedback on timeless wavelength

2008-04-12T00:51:00.006-05:00

The other night while listening to my Rhapsody account and pounding some Arrogant Bastard (the ale, not my neighbor) I found myself in Lewis Black moment. No, not Jewish and longing for a midnight blintz… but outraged – outraged I tell you!

Here’s why. I ran across a newly released (actually re-released) album called Goddammit Redux by a band called Alkaline Trio. I’ve heard of AK but never really given them much attention. Their name makes me think of shampoo and what kind of band names itself after a shampoo with a high pH factor? Why not go with “Dawn? We Break Up Grease…” or maybe “Irish Spring – Manly yes, but we like it too.” ?

Call me old fashion but when an album (yes I said album) has the balls to use Baby Jesus’ father’s name in vain and further imply they’re so badass they’re doing it a “second time” they better bring something more than salt base that dissolves in water! My reptilian brain said hang on to your nutsack cuz this is gonna to be a fucking rocker! Now my inner Andy Rooney should have said, “be careful, with a name like Alkaline Trio you’re going to be sorely cornholed.”

I wasn’t two bars into the first verse when I could feel cold blood trickling from my ears and little chunks heave in the back of my throat. Talk about untruth in labeling. Thank God for cotton balls and Maalox I was able to trudge forward in an attempt to find one nugget of decency in this fraud. Nada! They should have called this album Gee Whiz or Gosh darn it.

So… if anyone’s curious about what a song worthy of this sort of language sounds like…

Try here

I dare thee…

Moses With A Gun

2008-04-07T09:42:00.004-05:00

Hello old friend... I've been away for a while. I bet you thought I left you? My last post suggests I might have been hanging up my cleats.

Ah... if only the world were so lucky.

So... while I was away, I made you a Muxed Tape and I pay homage to Ben-Hur

The Sound of Silence

2007-09-24T10:04:00.000-05:00

We bid adieu.

Thanks UF

George Bush - We Love You!

2007-07-31T00:17:00.000-05:00

George Bush,

How do we begin to thank you for your heroic efforts? Without you, how could the Iraqi people and Americans ever repay your genius and foresight? The Iraqi people appreciate what you're doing and we're just beginning to understand more.

Keep it coming! Hooray USA!

Pegan Uprise

2007-07-27T00:34:00.000-05:00

Mmmmm… Pegans

Thanks Slumdance

Pathetic Dispense

2007-07-12T08:00:00.000-05:00

Interesting discovery this weekend. Science and technology aren’t evil when you can use it for your own purposes. Here’s three great examples of evangelical hypocrisy. God Hates Fags but loves You Tube (thanks Fred Phelps), evolution only happened after the Garden of Eden and computers are the Antichrist's tool except if you have a podcast push.

Stains and Disdains and other ripoffs. While we're at it let’s stand here and watch as the horizon slowly fade away. Thanks for this link from Rude Cactus and the article from Greeblemonkey.

Here’s how I define PATRIOTISM

Check out Chris Cornell’s cover of Jacko’s Billie Jean? I like it but it feels dirty… maybe because it’s Jacko-ff. Oh… if you’ve never heard Judas Priest’s live cover of Joan Baez’s Diamonds and Rust, you don’t know what you’re missing. Unleashed in the East.

Wednesday's in Houston

2007-07-06T00:28:00.000-05:00

Man, am I glad I didn’t have to make the call Al Gore made two nights ago? Assuming he did make the call. I’d have left the boy to stew in his own juices for a while before asking “what the fuck were you thinking?” I mean, who the hell drives a Prius at 100+ mph? Who knew a Prius could even go that fast? (I tried to get an Aveo to go that fast once, but the rubber band started to creak and I didn't have time to run by Staples for another! – ba dum bum!). At those speeds Gore could have blown a corn cob in the middle of the highway and on the eve of Live Earth no less! Someone’s not drinking the Kool-aid.

Did anyone see the Princess Diana concert? Three things are certain: Wills and Harry can’t dance, their taste in music must come from their father (Kanye West and Ferrell – Pleeeassee). The Royals roughing it with the homies? And finally it didn't appear they had time to memorize 2-3 statements about their mother, the efforts of the concert contributors and the fans. I'm sure the after-party preoccupied their thoughts. Reading off cards strapped to their hands was sad and pathetic. I bet they still have nannies that wipe their asses. Their Royals for God’s sake, implant teleprompters in their cornias!

Hey P. Diddy, could you have been anymore up the Royal’s bum's with your BS ripoff of Sting? Speaking of SUCK, Houston had their annual "Freedom over Texas" event for the 4th and Montgomery Gentry was the headliner. Besides their one song that came out a couple years ago that pandered to America and our patriotism I don’t know a lot about these clowns. A couple obervations. While Eddie Montgomery (I think – shaved head, goatee, shorter) wore a cool duster (a long cowboy coat) with skulls and crosses and other shiny things, everything else he did was Martinized, pasteurized and bullsthitrified. If there’s such a thing as a countrified boy band this was it. I’ve never seen so much flag waving, Army sucking, Iraqi war ass kissing, Chevy dealership dick sucking in my life. What a wretch! Come on, Houston you’re better than this! Where’s your fricken pride? At least last year’s LeAnn Rimes grew up in Texas.

With luck like this who needs, who needs unlucky?

2007-06-26T22:26:00.000-05:00

Last Thursday USA Today ran an article called At camp, military kids bear scars of their own by Andrea Stone. The article is about a camp created to help childen of US military personnel deal with the trauma and pain inflicted on their parents in Iraq and Afghanistan. Stone quotes one of the 12 year olds who says the “The fighting. The pain. The surgeries. And always, the sudden mood swings. "Sometimes, we feel like we have to run away," Another says "The military's stupid!". Stone goes on to point out the obvious that these kids have never been in a war, however they’re “no strangers to the ravages it can inflict”. (ahem…unlike their Iraqi and Afghanistani peers?) But what really caught my attention was Stone’s next paragraph which attempts, maybe unintentionally, to put a positive spin on the fact we even such a camp for these kids.

“Nearly 19,000 U.S. children have had a parent injured in the military since Sept. 11, 2001, the Pentagon says. They are lucky compared with the 2,200 kids whose parents have been killed in Afghanistan or Iraq.”

Wow! If having my parents seriously messed up, either phyisically or mentally, for the rest of their (and my) life is considered lucky then count me out! As this war continues to slog on I can’t help but think about the mess George Bush, Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Condoleezza Rice and many other nameless, behind-the-scene thugs have created for my children, my grandchildren and possibly my great grand children. Is history really the only thing we can judge these assholes by? Why aren’t more people vocal about this? Why can’t we put up a stronger front for change? It’s not good enough that the Sunni and Shiite have been fighting amongst themselves for the last 5,000 years, but now we have to drag the US into this? What sort of long-term nightmare has this administration set in motion?

The Generals

2007-06-06T01:15:00.000-05:00

Said General Clay to General Gore,
"Oh must we fight this silly war?
To kill and die is such a bore."
"I quite agree," said General Gore.

Said General Gore to General Clay,
"We could go to the beach today
And have some ice cream on the way."
"A grand idea," said General Clay.

Said General Clay to General Gore,
"We’ll build sand castles on the shore."
Said General Gore, "We’ll splash and play."
"Let’s leave right now," said General Clay.

Said General Gore so General Clay,
"But what if the sea is closed today?
And what if the sand’s been blown away?"
"A dreadful thought," said General Clay.

Said General Gore to General Clay,
"I’ve always feared the ocean’s spray,
And we may drown!" "It’s true, we may.
It chills my blood," said General Clay.

Said General Clay to General Gore,
"My bathing suit is slightly tore.
We’d better to on with our war."
"I quite agree," said General Gore.

Then General Clay charged General Gore
As bullets flew and cannons roared.
Of General Clay or General Gore.

Shel Silverstein

I can drive a Cadillac across the Irish Sea

2007-05-22T22:55:00.001-05:00

If I every get out of here… thought of giving it all away… to a registered charity… all I need is a pint a day…

Jack Bauer is on to his next adventure (ho hum), Homer, Marge and the kids have attained a level of greatness, I’ve added some minor observations to my other ramblings, my company may buy a firm of equal value but triple our capital capabilities, Bush (or the Shrub as my father affectionately refers to him) is still in office, and the democrats aren't being held accountable for the job they were hired to do.

Halliburton is moving to Dubai, the Dow is hitting record levels (no one I know owns any of the Dow’s 30 companies), my boss is dragging his feet on adjusting my comp (upward as it were), Ozzy has released a new CD which isn’t half bad, I’ve put 25k miles on my frequent flyer account, there’s fathers baking their children in microwaves, the Apt Pupil is a decent movie and jazz isn’t what it used to be when I was a kid.

My oldest child has decided to go to college, my youngest has hit a wall when it comes to her vocabulary, Mrs. Smoke is hormonal (she's gonna kill me), I’m changing doctors because my current doctor thinks the earth is ten thousand years old and I tire of his narrow-mindedness (plus the fact the fucker tried pushing pharmaceutically peddled anti-depressants on me after I reluctantly answered a 25 question survey about depression), Wino Junko is now available digitally and The Oil Factor documentary connected some dots I thought existed but hadn't the time nor the Middle Eastern research staff put together, my fricken Tivo went out and was replaced by a POS DirectTV DVR, my blog is acting funny (funny strange, not funny ha ha…) and this is only the tip of the ever melting, global warming iceberg.

My Other Ramblings:

Listening to:

Wings: Wings At The Speed of Sound & Band on the Run
Ozzy Osborne: Black Rain (Tattoos on his knee caps? - Great pic)
Michael Buble: Call Me Irresponsible (pssst… Call me irresponsible but don’t mention my lisp – who the fuck knew?)
John Mayer: Continuum (I just can’t leave this one alone) – check out my LastFM list
Siouxsie & the Banshees: The Best Of…
Black Tape for a Blue Girl: This Lush Garden Within
Dead Can Dance: The Serpent’s Egg
Explosions In The Sky: All Of A Sudden I Miss Everyone
Bachman-Turner Overdrive: Self-title

Watching:

The Good Shepard
Bobby
The Last King of Scotland
Night at the Musuem
Queen: Live At Wembly
Apt Pupil
The Oil Factor
Manufacturing Consent
The Soprano’s – Final Season
24
The Simpsons
Notes from the Underbelly
The Office
Scrubs

Reading:

Noam Chomsky: Hegemony or Survival
Cormac McCarthy: The Road
William R. Cook: Machiavelli in Context

Lumberjack Mash-Up

2007-04-08T18:31:00.005-05:00

Lumberjack Mashup with Ricard Dawkins and Ted Haggard

While learning more about the term Mashup, not to be confused with Mashup I ran across a few things including this exchange between Richard Dawkins and Ted Haggard. Thanks to Brian Flemming.

From the Port of Rockville

2007-02-21T22:37:00.000-06:00

Artist Formerly Known As Serwer
With a little bit of down time (very little) I tried catching up on one of my favorite blogs, before blogs were a gleam in my daddy’s eye. It’s a periodical written by Andy Serwer. It used to be called Streetlife but now Andy calls it Capitan’s Blog or something clever like that, probably because he was recently named managing editor. It used to come out daily, but now it comes out whenever… I think.

I started reading Streetlife in the late 90s because of Andy’s one liners and his closing paragraphs called “Loose Change.” Unfortunately the tone of Andy’s writing has mellowed over the years from a somewhat freestyle, machine gun, brain dump to a more corporate, professional, no fun, non-fat, cup of who cares. That being said I continue to check in from time to time to see what Andy’s discussing and occasionally he’ll drop a gem like today’s “Ms.
Market” allagory.

MS. MARKET: Okay, so everyone calls it Mr. Market. Why? Why not Ms. Market? She's certainly exercises her prerogative to change her mind, right? (Okay, she's fickle.) I find that if I don't listen to her I'm in trouble. And I do that repeatedly. She's got a beautiful mind. She likes to talk about her feelings. She isn't good at compartmentalizing necessarily. I find that we sometimes think very differently. Contrary to common belief she doesn't care if the AFC or the NFC wins the superbowl. (Not sure about hemlines.) She likes holidays and spending time with her family, but not too much. After a day or two she's anxious to get back to work. I'm sure I will die before she does.

Other Serwer charms have included “The Dow Climbed 49 bingalingas”, “More megahertz! Faster pipes! A Merced-chocked, super-ramped, Sony Vaio powered by a portable Solaris wired to my brain!” and “All eyes on the CPI numbers tomorrow. Except for mine. I'll be slipping into some control-top pantyhose and reading Guns 'n' Ammo as usual”. If only more market guys were this fun or funny. The guys that wear the jester hats aren’t funny. Oh, did I mentioned Serwer’s also worked with Bethany McLean and Soledad O’Brien at one time?

Seat 2F
Ok so I rolled out of bed at 0300 hours this morning to make a 0730 flight into BWI from Houston. As I go through security the TSA guy tells me they’re conducting additional safety checks. As he’s patting down my arms and legs and working his way up past my waist he leans in to my left ear and calmly says… thank you for your patience and XYZ. Now, it’s been a long time since I’ve heard XYZ and I thought “how nice of him to mention that.” My second thought was how many people in the airport hadn’t said XYZ to me? The hatch had to have been down since leaving the house, that was the last time I’d have touched the Z – getting dressed that is. Luckliy, the airport wasn’t crowed and that I hadn’t gone too deep into the bowels of the facility bowels before XYZing. On the plane I came up with a possible new TSA slogan… The TSA - We Don’t Just Ask You to Empty Your Pockets… or… TSA is more than just XYZ.

Flew into BWI today to spend some time in Rockville MD. By the way, they really don’t rock up there but apparently they do have some rocks. This is Muhammad and Malvo territory and it’s been a while since I’ve been up here. It’s still winter up here, especially from last week’s snow-ice storms. I was surprised to see some of the coves and inlets frozen over as we flew north up the Chesapeake. Man there are some big friggin’ houses down there! Anyway, I’m glad I’m in Maryland the week following their big snow storm if you know what I mean?

Wizards vs. Kings
Sounds like a dungeons and dragons theme. Our partner up in this neck of the woods took us to a Wizards game. The seats were great and in true NBA fashion the last 5 minutes of the game were worth waiting around for with the Wizards walking away with a win in the last minute. It’s been years since I’ve seen a professional basketball game because like baseball I think the players are way overpaid and I refuse to contribute to their inflated salaries. This is contrary to a NFL player who can get maimed and possibly killed during the event. If I’m going to spend my hard earned buck on sports entertainment there better be some pads popping and some bones breaking. Watching pro baseball or basketball doesn’t cut it. Some will argue that NHL is a close second, but I disagree. Hockey is for Canadians who can’t play in the NFL. A bunch of guys skating around looking for an excuse to throw off their pads so they can punch each other until the refs step in. Either let them take each other out during play or don’t let them fight at all. Pro basketball has changed over the years (more corporate, less fun). $22 for a double Absolute and Tonic… That’s fuck!

Seat 6A
Blah, bland and boring. It’s hateful and shameful the way people are crammed into airplanes. I’m a frequent flyer and I hate it, I can imagine what holiday travelers go through. We should demand more. My saving grace was the great cloud show and vapor trail ballet I was treated to for 3+ hours. Did you know there are people that can tell you a given flight number by it’s vapor trail at a given time of day? That’s focus! Took some pics with a disposable, I hope they come out. Watched DC fade to a dot from 20k feet. It’s amazing how small the Washington Monument looks from up here. DC looks like a little village with a couple bridges across it’s river (that would be the Potomac). Listened to Snow Patrol’s – Eyes Open. It’s really growing on me and makes me think of Ms. Smoke. Hope to get home before Little Smoke goes to bed but it’s not looking good since we sat on the runway for 30 minutes out of BWI. Where do I go to get my time refund?

What's that sucking sound coming from the Potomac?

2007-02-15T11:46:00.001-06:00

You're elected officials at their finest. Talk about politcal masturbation... or should I say Electile Dysfunction. Who are these clowns and how do I get this job?

Check Out The Latest Poopstains

2007-02-11T21:59:00.000-06:00

Excuse me while I drop the kids off at the pool.

I am Irony Man

2007-02-11T11:30:00.000-06:00

Last week Dawna Friesen reported from Paris meeting on a Global Warming story. Am I the only one that sees the irony?

If I were you, I'd beak up and form a new band

2007-02-11T11:28:00.000-06:00

I’ve tried giving Hoobastank a chance… really I have… several times. I’m listening to their 2006 release “Every Man For Himself”. Their name should be puberstank. If this is what kids are listening to today… god save us. My voice just cracks listening to these corporate shills.

Oh Betty Bowers, how you make me LQTM!

2007-02-10T11:39:00.000-06:00

I’ve subscribed to BBs' newsletter for about a year or so. She’s always got her Right Finger on the pulse of religion and politics (toxic combination) – plus she hocks some clever tchotchkes. Betty has some interesting observations about this week’s “Women In The News”.

Enjoy

Thoughts That Leave Me Chasing After…

2007-02-09T12:59:00.000-06:00

Flying back from my second trip to KC in as many weeks I continue to wrestle with my inner voice telling me, suggesting really, that I need to put something on paper or my blog as it were. If I look at my number of entries and the number of days that have passed between entries I’m not doing a very good job of keeping current and this bugs me.

Writing a blog has appealed to me from the moment I learned I could. I struck my first blog entry in late 04 as a way to track the music I was listening to in my car. Over time this has expanded to other topics or ideas only to make the burden heavier. Whether it’s attempting to share a (self-described) clever thought, an observation, to stand on my bully pulpit or simply offer update on what I’m doing… for posterity since no one really reads this stuff, I continue to see a usefulness to writing or “blogspot poopstaining” as Ms. Smoke calls it. While writing a blog sounds good on paper it’s a little harder in reality.

Two of the biggest pieces of advice bloggers offer is to develop decent content and consistent posts, both of which I have difficulty. Working on a blog really gives one the appreciation for what professional writers (or consistent bloggers) have to go through on a regular basis. This issue is only compounded by the speed at which our lives have accelerated. Before you have time to develop a good thought with sounds arguments or observations, something else comes up whether it’s personal or the world at large and the fact that I’m kinda anal doesn’t help matters.

For me there are certain issues that have to be addressed such as:

Content needs to be categorized in some sort of rational fashion – for me anyway

Topic needs to be interesting in some way – to more people than just me
Some levels or humor, sarcasm and humility are always a plus
Brevity – as much as it pains me to say and stay

Beyond the issues, the bigger challenges include:

Finding a Voice
Staying on Point (or having a point)
Consistency
Closure

All that being said, the rewards can be:

Cathartic
Receiving recognition and acknowledgement
The development or honing of an advance social skill

So today… from this point forward, I’m pledging to myself to make a more concerted effort to pull this together. Although it may not be daily, it should be more frequently. So whether it’s updating my main blog, Johnny Smoke, adding something to my new Random Poopstain page or giving a status update on my progress in the Knights of the Round Bottoms and my ancillary Earl of Arrogant Bastard, I will work harder to keep the content flowing, even if it’s not up to my self-imposed, half imagined standards.

Give me a break - Jay Z vs. Don Shula?

2007-02-09T11:24:00.000-06:00

If the gay rights groups can shutdown the Snickers commercials and suicide prevention groups are going to bitch about the GM’s robot dream sequence, I’m going to throw in the Budweiser Select’s commercial where Jay Z beats Don Shula in a game of football? Denny Green or Dom Capers maybe, but Don Shula? Give me a fricken break! As a NFL fan this insults the history and legacy of the game and the accomplishments of Don Shula. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a big Dolphin fan, but this would be like Buddy Ryan beating Patricia Smith in a Poetry Slam.

A Sprinkle of Joy

2007-01-23T10:46:00.002-06:00

When I was in Charlotte NC a few weeks ago I noticed their NBC affiliate has a morning weatherman appropriately named Larry Sprinkle.

Surreal Ports

2006-11-09T12:59:00.000-06:00

Don’t ask me how or why but for some reason I felt another shoe was going to drop this morning (two actually). This has been a long, strange week (and a half) so far.

Let’s see:

Reverend Ted Haggard is outed as a gay, meth user (is no one safe from this evil drug?)
Democrats wrestle power from Republicans (by the skin of their teeth)
Britney Spears files for divorce from Kevin Federline (who will be the next white trash winner of the Britney Spears gravy train?)
Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld resigns the day after the election (we don’t go to war with the SoD we wish we had, but the one we do have)
Kevin Federline files for child custody from Britney Spears (WTF is this moron thinking? He can’t even pay for the first two he had.)
Emmitt Smith crushes fan favorite, Joey Lawrence on Dancing with the Stars (Mario Lopez should just concede. It’s Emmitt Smith for God’s sake. This man cha-cha'd and rumba'd through defensive lines for 14 years!
The San Francisco 49ers announce they’re leaving (their hearts in) San Francisco.
Ed Bradley passes away (I always thought his earring was a little over the top once he turned… I don’t know… 60! – yes, I’m the unofficial earring police) You’ll be missed Mr. Bradley.

Well la tee da! Lookie here! Waddya know?!

2006-11-08T13:17:00.000-06:00

Yesterday a friend of mine asked me if George Bush Sr. (cuz I live in Houston) was a Texas A&M fan because he’d seen him at the game on TV. I said I didn’t think so because Bush was a Yale graduate but maybe he was stumping for Bush Jr. or doing some work on this Presidential library. After today’s announcement of Rummy stepping down it appears he was recruiting. Just goes to show, it’s not what you know it’s who… see how one hand washes the other? Texas politics might be bad but not as bad as Louisiana. 2nd District Rep. William “Cash in the Freezer” Jefferson lead with 30% of the vote. It appears he will now have to be in a “run-off” with the second runner up Karen Carpenter. First of all, WTF are these people thinking? “Yes sir, can I have another?” and secondly why wasn’t there a run-off prior the last night’s election? It’s really hard to feel sorry for a population that doesn’t help itself. You will get the government you deserve!

How do you cure a Mid-Term Hangover?

2006-11-08T11:55:00.000-06:00

Last night while trying to unwind from the busy day I thought some Supertramp would be nice since I hadn’t heard any in a while. Of course I ran across two songs from the Brother Where You Bound? CD that only riled me up but seemed appropriate none the less. If you get a chance to hear this CD it’s worth it, although it didn’t have much commercial success it’s a good album (B+ maybe an A-). Here are the lyrics to two songs and you have to listen to them in order:

Better Days Lyrics
Trust me, I can help you
Feel free, we can save you
Join us in the good life
And better days, better days

Campaign for a new life
Champagne and the bright lights
Make way for the right way
And better days, better days

You didn't realize about the other life that we can give you
We'll open up your eyes and make you see the light that's all around you
We'll help you work it out and then you'll never doubt
Our intuition, our vision, our decision, our mission, so listen

No war, no inflation
No more desperation
You'll see we can show you
Better days, better days

NO HUNGER, higher wages
Good schools, smiling faces
Make way for the new way
Better days, better days

We're going to lead you down to where the sun is always brightly shining
We'll push away the clouds and show you there's a gold and silver lining
We'll take away the pain, you'll want to try again
You won't be sorry, so don't worry, don't worry, so hurry and join me

Brother Where You Bound Lyrics
There's a red cloud hanging over us
And it's so big and it's gonna burst
All you people with your heads in the ground
Hey brother, where you bound?

And they're no good and they're everywhere
Try to tell you, but you just don't care
Try to hear you but you don't make a sound
Hey brother, where you bound?
Hey brother, where you bound?

And you don't know what they're gonna do
And you don't know how they feel
And you don't know what they're tellin' you
Is it a lie or is it real
And the next thing that you know is
That they walk out on the deal

And the message that they're giving you
Is the same old alibi
If you don't quite see their point of view
Then they treat you like a spy
And the phone rings and you disappear
In the middle of the night

Can't you see they're on the move
Don't know what you're trying to prove
But you sit there oh so cool
Like they never broke no rules

And the cat flies and the crow walks
And the ghost dies and the sow talks
And they tell us that they'll be good as gold
B'lieve nothing that you're told
Hey brother, where's your soul?

Make a move in one direction
Try to make some compromise
But they greet you with rejection
Makin' out you're tellin' lies
Then they turn around and tell you
Better get down from the sky

For the sake of all that's holy
Listen good to what I say
I can feel them all around me
They could be here any day
But you act like you don't know me
Why d' you look at me that way

If there's one thing that is clear
We gotta get away from here
We've gotta leave this place
It's just a hopeless case
Ain't no one else to blame
We're gonna lose this game

Hey brother get off my back
I gotta tell you, you're way off the track
They got a hatred deep down inside
Ain't gonna let them take me alive
I'm gonna burn them down, just wait and see
Ain't gonna let them walk over me
Boy you ain't got no heart and soul
And your mind is weak and your blood's runnin' cold

You better move, you better hide
They're gettin' in, they're gettin' inside
If you get caught you better know
They're gonna reap, you're gonna sow
Don't be a fool, we gotta go
Ain't no place safe for us to stay
We better move on, we better move on

Trouble In Mind

2006-11-07T23:55:00.000-06:00

As I watch tonight’s midterm election results I’m taken to a Bill Hick’s line about politics in America, specifically the Republicrats. I think it goes something like this…

I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. "I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs." "I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking." "Hey, wait a minute, there's one guy holding out both puppets!"

I will be really surprised if anything gets accomplished in the next two years except that our money will continue to be spent as the politician see fit and at record levels, the American rank and file won’t hold anyone accountable, we’ll continue to be distracted with bullshit issues like gay marriage, immigration and incompetent foreign policy. Then it will be time to start the election machine all over again.

I’m so frustrated right now I could spit! I want to help, but I don’t want to give any more money. Not to the political parties, not to the government watchdogs, to no one. Despite public perception that people like used car and insurance sales people are whores and untrustworthy, I am 100% convinced with every fiber of my being that its politicians and political action groups that take the prize. I feel like Howard Beale. Hey, I know what will cheer me up, someone gave me a bootlegged copy of Butthole O’Reilly’s new audio book, Culture Whor-i-er. Just knowing that’s $30 less in his meat hooks makes me feel better already.

It's time to turn the tables - Pork Barrel Project

2006-08-16T01:08:00.000-05:00

After a hard day of studying the actuarial tables (the 1983 tables, not the 2000 tables) and convincing other sales people to sell the stuff I create in my little brain, I settle down with my Wiki and try to mentally erase everything that happened that day so I have a fresh slate the next morning.

Last night while doing just this I ran across something on The Heritage Foundation website that gave me one of the biggest political woodies I've had in some time.

It's an internet project that has the potential of turning into something as large as Wikipedia or dare I say, blogging itself. I am so psyched about this initiative that if it were an IPO, I'd put a second mortgage on my house tomorrow and invest everything in it - well, maybe after I built my pool.

Although the project name could use a little marketing sprucing up, the Exposing Earmarks Project is a budding effort that's arrival is long over due.

From the PressThink site.

The Era of Networked Journalism BeginsToday marks a key moment in the evolution of the Web as a reporting medium. The first left-right-center coalition of bloggers, activists, non-profits, citizens and journalists to investigate a story of national import: Congressional earmarks and those who sponsor and benefit from them.

This is networked journalism ("professionals and amateurs working together to get the real story") beginning to come of age, and it's very much in the spirit in my initiative NewAssignment.Net.

The partners in the Exposing Earmarks Project are the Sunlight Foundation, Citizens Against Government Waste, Porkbusters, and the Examiner Newspapers, along with Club for Growth, Human Events Online, The Heritage Foundation, Tapscott's Copy Desk - and you, should you choose to be involved.

The bottom line here is that you don't have to agree with the politics, you just have to agree objective and goals.

If you believe our politicians are out of control, and I mean all politicians not just the ones on the Right or the Left. If you care about your income and the taxes you pay, then you only have yourself to fault should you choose not to take a minute to examine this and consider how and if you can make a contribution to accountability by letting your government know you're watching.

Because this is new, there are a lot of details that will need to be worked out. As I tell my kids, you've got to break a few eggs to make an omelet.

Ain’t it hard for the dog to hunt when it ain’t got no teeth?

2006-08-15T18:16:00.000-05:00

Last night I watched (TiVo) the 60 Minutes interview with Mike Wallace and Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. For a number of reasons I found Wallace’s interview embarrassing and almost comical. Curious to see if anyone felt the same, I ran across a couple folks who agreed at some level.

•Random Rant asked, “Who's idea was it to allow an 88 year old man conduct such a newsworthy interview?”

•Bret Stephens at the WSJ compiled a list of questions that Wallace should have asked titled; Questions for Ahmadinejad (That Mike Wallace Didn't Ask)

•Even the Capital of North Dakota’s CBS affiliate had a forum with something to say about it.

As I watched Wallace's interview I had to ask myself what young news producer would risk their career letting Wallace conduct such an interview? Had they not done their homework on this guy’s intelligence and charm? The Iranians love this guy because he’s able to break the barriers of social class within the culture.

Ahmadinejad, a former solder who has a PHD in engineering is said to be one of the few leaders in recent Iranian history who has been able to bridge the gap between Iran’s urban and rural populations as well as its religious leaders. Here’s a man who has his populace eating out of his hand and Wallace is going to “rough him up?” Give me a friggen break.

(tangent alert- Isn’t it a sad commentary when one of the least powerful countries in the world has a better educated and better trained leader then the most powerful country of the last 20 years?)

Ahmadinejad appeared to run circles around the old fart Wallace. I'm surprised the Iranian President even put up with Wallace interrupting, finger pointing and flailing about. It almost appeared as if he was amused with Wallace’s antics. Ahmadinejad’s comment about Wallace teaching him courage was amusing… Snap Wallace!

Watching Wallace reminded me of scene from The Insider where Christopher Plummer (playing Mike Wallace) tells Al Pacino (playing Lowell Bergman) says…

"I don't plan to spend the end of my days wandering in the wilderness of National Public Radio. That decision I've already made."

I guess instead Wallace plans spending his remaining days on national TV acting like Grandpa Simpson, getting all indignant and intolerant when young, whippersnapping Heads of States dance around his straight ahead, in-your-face journalism that made him a household name – 30 years ago!

New World In My View - Good Night Middle East

2006-07-19T23:16:00.000-05:00

Small as a peanut,

Big as a giant,

We're all the same size,

When we turn off the light.

Rich as a sultan,

Poor as a mite,

We're all worth the same

When we turn off the light.

Red black or orange,

Yellow or white,

We all look the same,

When we turn off the light.

So maybe the way

To make everything right

Is for God to just reach out

And turn off the light!

~Shel Silverstein~

Playing butt darts (with the native's children)

2006-06-27T11:10:00.000-05:00

Ah... This reminds me of that little sex slave boy I had last weekend... only he was considerably smaller and sweeter.

So You Think You're Cool or Somthing?

2006-06-15T09:54:00.000-05:00

I wear my sunglasses during press conferences...

Somewhere between the driving range and highway construction

2006-06-15T00:52:00.000-05:00

Mrs. Smoke: Isn’t it hard to hit your balls with all that noise
Mr. Smoke: Huh?
Mrs. Smoke: I would think all that noise would be distracting
Mr. Smoke: You have to concentrate on the dimples

Outa-Space

2006-06-08T00:39:00.000-05:00

Two obituaries in a row aren’t cool. Unfortunately life isn’t always tidy.

I will always thank my parents for introducing me to great music at an early age although I’m a little ashamed to admit that it took getting out of high school and a friend’s challenge (that Judas Priest, Led Zeppelin and Iron Maiden weren’t the only bands that made music) to remind me of my musical roots. Some of my earliest musical memories included Al Green, Sly Stone, Steppenwolf, Al Hirt, Barbra Streisand, Richard “Groove” Holmes, Wishbone Ash, Eddie Arnold and others. It’s odd because my parents weren’t really the eclectic type although their musical tastes seemed to be. One of the artists that appeared in the R&B section of their collection was Billy Preston. My first (and lasting) visual memory of Billy Preston was seeing him on Johnny Carson or some other “variety show” and thinking, “man look at that hair!” Besides Sly Stone, I don’t remember ever seeing an afro that large and symmetrically round. Some of my other early memories included Preston’s wild clothes and large platform shoes, his gapped front teeth and the way his hands flurried up and down the keyboards.

Preston was a backup musician with a ton of credibility playing for such bands as the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Little Richard, Ray Charles, George Harrison, Eric Clapton, Bob Dylan, Sam Cooke, Sammy Davis Jr., Sly Stone, Aretha Franklin, the Jackson 5, Quincy Jones, and Red Hot Chili Peppers. According to Wikipedia he was “one of only two non-Beatles to receive a credit on a Beatles single, he played the electric piano on "Get Back" during the band's rooftop concert in 1969.” I think Target Stores may have even used his song “Will it Go Round in Circles” for one of their commercials, but I could be confusing this with Bill Wither’s “Lovely Day”.

On Tuesday, I gave pause because Billy had a song that had no melody, yet he’d sing it to his friends. He had a story without a moral where he’d let the bad guy win every once in a while. He had a dance that had no steps, no… he’d just let the music move him around. Billy knew that nothin’ from nothin’ left nothin’ and wasn’t afraid to ask… will it go round in circles, will it fly high like a bird up in the sky?

If you have a music account buy these three songs. If you don’t have an account, find one of the Russian sites and get them. Consider it Billy Preston for the Soul.

1. Will It Go Round In Circles?
2. Nothing from Nothing - This one’s for you Condi R!
3. Outa-Space

RIP - Desmond Dekker

2006-05-31T12:36:00.000-05:00

I and I Desmond. We didn't know you well but we knew of your legacy and your accomplishments. Give our regards to Bob and Peter.

And the wind cried Mary…

2006-05-29T22:49:00.000-05:00

It was a fairly busy weekend with family and food (one of Johnny Smoke’s favorite pastimes). My father-in-law turned 71 on Sunday and baby Smoke turned 11 months on Saturday. The family took my F-I-L to Buca di Beppo on Saturday. On Sunday, Mrs. Smoke, Smokette and I went for BBQ at County Line Bar-B-Q. You can even see where we sat.

While BDP is not my favorite Italian restaurant because, (1) it’s a big chain and (2) they have such huge portions, it will do in a pinch, especially when the brother and sister-in-law are along. Neither misses a meal, they’re the type of people that plan their day around meals. I believe they’re called “Chowhound” in some circles although I don’t think their tastes are too discriminating. As a grandfather of mine used to say, they’ll eat anything that doesn’t eat them first.

As for the BBQ, it’s one of the best in Houston which isn’t saying a lot. Having grown up in KC, I’d consider myself somewhat of a BBQ snob. While County Line is good, it’s not KC BBQ. I’ll leave the details for another time.

Beside trying to catch up on “family time”, watching not one, but two DVDs and listening to few new releases, I ran across three news items that were troubling. I awoke to the first one on Saturday morning about a man who dropped his 4 and 8 year old sons over the balcony of the hotel where he and his family were staying. Once he dropped his two sons he proceeded to throw himself after them. As a father of three these types of stories, which seem to occur periodically are quite disturbing. I’ve seen a lot in my 43 years and I’ve experienced many unpleasant situations including divorce, credit issues and being let go from an employer or two, but none of these situations have ever backed me into a corner where I thought the only way out was to kill my children, my spouse or myself. Whenever I hear or read about these stories, I immediately wonder what goes through the child’s mind(s) as the trauma unfolds? My hope is that it happens so fast that they’re too hysterical or frantic to know what’s happening. For the child’s sake, I can only wish for some sort of shock or protection mechanism to shut down the brain so they’re not fully aware of what’s happening to them at the hands of their parent(s). Praying for these particular children and their mother would be appropriate but how can you pray to something that allows this to happen?

The second story was about a first time skydiver outside of Cleveland, OH that slipped from her harness and plunged to her death from 13,000 feet up. While I have never skydived myself, I’ve always wanted to. Maybe this is the time to try? I would imagine skydiving schools are going to be extra cautious for the next couple months. I fly a lot as part of my job and whenever I sit by the window seat I always wonder how long it would take to hit the ground and what goes through your mind before you do?

I ran across the third article while researching the deaths of the boys above. Apparently, our industrious GA, Alberto Gonzales met privately with ISP industry reps recently and urged them to start retaining subscriber information and network data for two years. There’s no word on whether they’re going to comply but my guess is that they will, especially Yahoo and Google who have already demonstrated they that they are willing to work with governments like China to track usage and wall off content to subscribers.

The biggest threat here is that we have no guidelines on how this information will be used, no assurances it won’t be sold and most importantly no understanding of how the information will be safeguarded from ne’er-do-wells. Have we forgotten our history, the years of Joseph McCarthy? How much longer will we allow this administration run roughshod over our privacy and personal information? Don’t be lulled into the false sense of security that once Bush is out of office this will be all over. The GA and Homeland Security are setting precedents that not even a democrat will likely change once in control. What would be the motivation? I urge you to drop an email to your congress person to tell them how you feel about this and other evesdropping activities the government is engaged in. Follow this link to get to your Senator or Representative in the Congressional Directory.

That's Pat!

2006-05-26T13:19:00.000-05:00

This Dude Has Balls... 2000 lbs balls. Check em' out.

They Fought The Law and The Law Won!

2006-05-25T12:34:00.000-05:00

Just look at these facy wacies... How could we be guilty?

If you haven't seen the documentary or read the book, justice has been served. Let's keep our fingers crossed the appeals gods don't prevail.

Hot Tamales and White Baybees

2006-05-25T12:12:00.000-05:00

…Fox News Channel's John Gibson has issued American Anglos a call to arms: "make more babies" or in twenty-five years the majority of the population will be Hispanic….

I read this Monday at BTE and knew it was only a matter of time before the W.A.S.P. nation (or is it WASP nation – I always confuse the two) belched this mantra through one of their neo-con mouthpieces. Surely this has been a big under-the-covers topic of discussion amongst themselves. The general (liberal) media has been fanning the flames of the Hispanic Tide (as I like to call it) for about 8-10 years now. It’s surprising this hasn’t been shouted from the rooftops. Think about it, what a sensational news story about another affront on race in America.

First of all, Gibson is making a huge assumption which is just another example of irresponsible, alarmist media bullshit. From everything I’ve seen or heard the number is more like 30% of the American population could be Hispanic by mid-century. Of course this assumes a constant growth rate based on today’s calculations. Do we really know what could happen to change this pattern over the next 40-45 years? NO!

Here’s two links to projection studies:
2020 Projection The World Alamanac
The U.S. Gov. Census Projections

Follow this you’ll find additional references along with Gibson's plea.

I’ve taken a little different approach to this matter. I call it my Ethnicity “Dilution Solution” and have found it to be quite more satisfying then Gibson’s suggestion. Hear me out; it’s based on the principle of making love, not war. It incorporates acceptance, not intolerance. It’s an unspoken philosophy that’s as old as invading armies. If more Anglos adopted this position (no pun intended) their end game of preserving the republic and its ethnic balance would still be achieved, although the idea of an ethnic balance in America is contrary to melting pot principle at this nation’s base. Some purest may argue that such an undertaking would “taint” their particular race. Really? I’d venture to wager that unless you can prove you were born in one of the early civilizations of Mesopotamia, Egypt, China or Mexico you’re a mutt. Armies invade, populations disperse, shall I go on?

Back to my point. Instead of trying to “out birth” the perceived threat, why not assimilate it? God knows Smoke’s done his part. Smoke’s three children are one quarter Hispanic meaning that at least one of their parents (guess which one) are one half Hispanic and at least one or both of their grandparents are full blooded. In 25 years (using Gibson’s time table) the Smoke’s should have diluted the Hispanic Strength down to one eighth and possibly one sixteenth provided our genealogical trend continues. I prefer to call it evolution. To paraphrase Bill Hicks, have you ever noticed how people who believe in purism look really unevolved? I mean, what’s with Gibson’s hair and forehead? Ick! To think someone loves or makes love to that! The other thing white breads like Gibson miss out on are the new customs, the incredible sense of family, the passion (dddrooow) and the frickin food! But then again I bet he has a sensitive stomach.

Personally, I think Gibson’s call to action is incredibly misdirected. The real question he should be asking is how are we going to fight the Chinese and Indians with their billion plus populations once they take over the world as economic and military world powers? Maybe we could ask the Hispanics?

Final word on this… Canada, I hope you’re watching this because you’re next, with your sexy bituminous oil sands, vast natural resource supplies and underpopulated… well, ah… population. America’s eyes are on you. In 25 years you’ll be fighting to close your borders to America because we’ve been so short-sighted and over populated our communities and either because we need to maintain our way of life or because we need to get away from the Hispanic Tide we’ll be looking for the “new suburbs” a!

Error #666: Hard Drive Possessed. Load EXOR.SYS (Y/N)

2006-05-22T00:14:00.000-05:00

As with most folks nowadays there are two things that Smoke runs short on; time and space. Besides knocking out 10 or so TiVo recordings, I also sorted and moved about 45 gigs of data to DVD storage (4GB x 11 discs). Isn’t it time to come out with a better form of large, permanent storage for consumers? This is what I’d really love to have but it still doesn’t solve my continual concern of crashing and other BS associated with electronic storage. I wish I’d bought the Touch III back in December when it was selling $75-$100 cheaper. Collectively I have about 605GB of storage and I can’t keep it from filling up. Am I the only one?

While cleaning out my data junk drawer, I also listened to a number of new CDs through Rhapsody, burnt 3 CDs I downloaded months ago, played with baby Smoke, hung pictures for Mrs. Smoke, watched the Sopranos, helped out with 1-2 of the meals, answered email and tried reading a couple articles and commented on a couple blogs.

Oh… and while listening to the news Sunday morning I head that Ray Nagin was re-elected as mayor New Orleans which I couldn’t (but really can) believe. It made me think of the Thomas Frank’s book What’s the Matter with Kansas?

I guess… In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. Now don’t get me wrong. I have nothing specific against Ray Nagin. It’s politicians in general. They Suck! Anyway, this gave me an idea to start a Nagin Watch, a journal or entry noting Nagin’s accomplishments and “plans” to rebuild New Orleans. I was under the impression he’d already started his plans but according to the news bite I saw in his congratulatory speech Saturday night “Now’s the time to start rebuilding…” I guess 9 months ago was too soon?

Blog creation, it turns out, is a marathon, not a sprint.

2006-05-12T16:15:00.000-05:00

Man, I'm looking at the whole process of building this blog out and find myself both stimulated and exhausted. Move this here, move that there. Try this link, try this piece of code. Ask someone this, ask someone else that. It's like a fricken tooth ache. It feels so good when you touch it but it hurts at the same time. Now I'm squirelling around with add-ons; Blogrolls, Technoratis, Moveable Types, bim, bam BOOM!

Enough bitching... back to the mines boy!

Wow, My first Blog

2004-09-06T13:34:00.000-05:00

The last few weeks I've been contemplating whether to spend the money and build my own website.

Is it because of the election or because I'm getting older or maybe even because I'm having weird dreams? Perhaps publishing my thoughts and ideas will attempt to flush out the garbage? Maybe Blogging is all I need? Maybe a website is overkill? Time will tell.